July Update from Dawn

Hello everyone. It's Dawn writing, but of course the girls will edit as well.

In recent years even just one outing a week can feel like a lot, but getting out and about is good for me to do. Last week felt quite busy for me. 

I was able to attend church on Sunday, which was lovely. My week feels much longer without worshiping the Lord with our church family. 

On Monday, I went for some extensive lab work in preparation for the stem cell retrieval. Canada Health requires that a person be tested for a myriad, (38, actually!), of different infectious diseases prior to a blood retrieval. This is both for information purposes and for potential infectious disease protection for those working on the blood. 12 vials were taken for testing. One test didn't come back, so I have to get that retested. Another test showed that my ferritin is too low, and an iron infusion is scheduled for this week as well. 

After the labwork on Monday, Andrew came with me to meet with our transplant coordinator, Megan. She is a lovely woman, and explained everything very well. She was able to answer our questions too. There's a lot of information and details to absorb and remember so it's nice that both Andrew & Alyssa can help with that! 

Later on Monday evening, we had a visit at home with our pastors. That visit was beautiful. I haven't had much anxiety recently, but it does crop up every now and then.  I think it will do so especially as the retrieval date gets closer. It's a new experience for all of us and another "hurdle" to get over, but I'm assured that the Lord will go before me and be with me through each thing. 

Pastor V read from Isaiah 40 to the end of the chapter, then 41:10.

“So do not fear, for I am with you;

    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

This was another time when the phrase "the Lord's right hand" stood out to me. 

When I was first diagnosed in 2021, our elder visited and read Psalm 73:23-26

“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

These verses and truths have followed me over these last FIVE years. Yes, it's been FIVE years since this whole scenario began! God has held me the whole way, and I pray that my life will show my gratitude and praise to Him.

Canada Day was quiet here, but I never mind quiet! I cut some rhubarb and tried a few new recipes with it. I enjoy baking, and the recipes turned out well! 

On Friday we had a Zoom family meeting along with a transplant coordinator. Our kids were able to attend, which was very special for me. The purpose was to ensure everyone has clarity on what the procedure entails and also to answer any questions that may arise.

One of my questions was what happens to my stem cells if I don't have the transplant or if I were to pass away before using them. I don't know what you can do with stem cells, but I know that they are useful. Can they possibly be used for nefarious purposes like in the case of Henrietta Lacks?  Dr A joined at the end of the meeting, and he was able to give more specifics to help me decide if I'd be okay to donate them to "science". It felt better to know that any scientist wishing to use my cells would have to  present their plans on paper to the hospital’s ethics committee before being allowed access. Of course we hope it will not come to that, but I was asked to consent and I wanted to do my due diligence. (My cells cannot be donated to someone else because I have cancer so the only donation possible is "science".)

At first, the meeting seemed to just reiterate what we'd learned at Monday's appointment, but as we pondered things we realized we did get more information. It was also good that the whole family all got the same information.

Leading up to the retrieval date, I will need to have daily shots for four days that will make my bone marrow produce more stem cells for the retrieval. One of the things asked of us was if there is someone who would consider giving me the daily shots? At first I thought it would be a resounding “no”, and I was prepared to book spots at the clinic for these shots. However, the timing of the needles is time sensitive, and it is difficult to get the same specific time slot four days in a row. We are in the process of figuring that out now. 

Today as I write this, it is Sunday again, and I'm thankful for that! It's good to have a day without appointments and to rest. Next Sunday is when I need to have my first shot, and this part of the process begins.

Ponderings: one thing I have struggled with, especially throughout my healing journey, is "what is God's will for my life now?" It was easy to see God's will when we were first married, then as a young mom, then while homeschooling and helping our kids become adults. Then again while caring for children in foster care. Five years ago there was then a sudden stop and some wavering along the way. When I'd ask this question to family and friends, they'd reply "Your job is to rest and heal". While I see that it's not something I have control over, it somehow didn't seem enough. This week I listened to a podcast that I regularly listen to, and it helped clarify things for me!

Some notes: 

"Purpose is not a mystery for a Christian"

"Bottom line, when it comes to your purpose in life, it's already set"

"Your job is to faithfully live wherever God puts you."

"Start asking what does God call me to do or what HAS God called me to do?"

"Make faithfulness the goal" 

"Faithfulness over fulfillment"

"Your purpose has less to do with your own passion and everything to do with God's"

"Define success by God's way - Matthew  25:21 - well done, good and faithful servant"

"Ask yourself - am I pursuing significance in the eyes of people or am I pursuing faithfulness in the eyes of God?"

"Steward what is already in your hands - not when this or that"

"If God has brought you to it, He's called you to it"

"Don't look past His purposes. They are right now."

"Ask yourself 3 things God has entrusted me today - ground zero for my purpose - your purpose is now!"

"Chemo - opportunity to represent Christ"

"---how are you doing this FOR HIS GLORY? ---

He is the center of everything. Nothing done for Him is wasted!"

"Purpose, it's a life now, the abundant life in Christ - living for something greater than yourself. That is HIS GLORY and purpose.  

Living for SOMEONE greater than you, that is JESUS CHRIST."

This was a good reminder of what I already knew. If it's faithfulness to God, it IS enough! I encourage you to listen to the podcast! 

(From the For the Gospel podcast with Costi W. Hinn, Episode: Reset Your Purpose, 

Based on his book Walking in God's Will.)

Prayer requests:

1. Anxiety regarding the stem cell retrieval, especially the insertion of the "apheresis catheter" in my neck on retrieval day (16th)

2. That the direction with my stem cell shots would be figured out successfully! 

3. For two friends who have recently been diagnosed with cancer - one with breast cancer and another with liver cancer. This saddens me and I pray that I can encourage them along their journeys. 

Information booklet about the retrieval and transplant.